


What if I'm broken?

by Solbjork



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Adult Edward Elric, Alchemy, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, Brotherhood, Character Death, Death, Depression, Dominant Roy Mustang, Edward Elric Keeps Alchemy, Edward Elric Keeps Automail, F/F, F/M, Family, Fire, Flame Alchemy, Fuhrer - Freeform, Gay, General, Hurt Edward Elric, Love, Lovers, M/M, OC characters, Parental Riza Hawkeye, Restored Alphonse Elric, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Violence, War, alchemist, depressed, oxygen, royed, the north - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:46:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24754978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Solbjork/pseuds/Solbjork
Summary: Truth realizes, that maybe he has made to harsh decisions and starts bringing people back to life. The Mustang team returns to life and now have to look at how the world has changed.How will Edward react when he sees the people he missed so dearly, standing right in front of him?
Relationships: Alphonse Elric/Winry Rockbell, Edward Elric/Roy Mustang, Gracia Hughes/Maes Hughes, Olivier Mira Armstrong/Riza Hawkeye
Comments: 16
Kudos: 99





	1. Prologue

The promised day was over and the injured were quickly put in the hospital. Edward had saved his brother and Alphonse was now back to normal. He was human again. He was made of skin and bones again. Tho' he had saved Al, he hadn't been able to save everybody and the entire Mustang team had been wiped out. They had been separated when they had been killed. When Fuhrer Grumman had given him the news, he went into complete shock. The Mustang team. Dead. What? How was that even possible? Edward had no idea.

Mustang had been found, shot twice in the heart and once in the neck. They suspected that he had been shot in the neck from behind first and then two times in the heart. He probably died so quickly, that he didn't even have time to react.

Hawkeye had been found beside him. She had her gun pulled out. The killers had been shot. It looks like Hawkeye had given up and shot herself, after figuring out that Mustang was gone. She laid on top of him, protecting him from the world. It was like she was an older sister. They had both looked stressed when they died.

Havoc hadn't even been there. But it didn't take long for the military to figure out where he was and how he was sending weapons directly to the Mustang team. He had been killed slowly, as they sliced his main veins at his wrists and was left to bleed out.  
Breda had been shot and bled to death. The last of them had died in a giant explosion. They had all fought to their very last, but in the end, it wasn't enough to keep them alive.

Edward had decided to carry the deaths in his hearts and not give up. Even if he desperately wanted to. He had decided to follow Mustang's footsteps and worked towards becoming Fuhrer. He had plans to change the country. He wanted to work more with the Ishvalan people. He wanted to help more people (Just like Mustang), but fate doesn’t seem to like Edward and a year after the promised day. The Dracmans decided that it was a good time to go into war with Amestris.  
Edward was sent to war in the front lines. He was the best alchemist seen in years. After the promised day, Edward had started practicing other types of alchemy. He had discovered the secrets behind flame alchemy and now understood why it could never be discovered by the rest of the world. He also created some other kinds of alchemy, which secrets he will be holding to his grave. Edward survived the two years-long war, and after that returned to central, this time feeling broken.


	2. The truth must be shown

The first thing Roy saw when he woke up was white. The white forced to close his eyes again. What happened? The last thing he remembered was pain… and then… black? Realization dawned on him and his eyes shot back open. There was no way. He had died and he was sure of that. Before anything else could happen, a sound came from behind him. It sounded like a groan. Roy turned around and saw the rest of his squad, laying scattered across the white void. The groan came from Riza, who also looked to be awake now. Roy stood up and stumbled over to her side. 

Riza’s eyes opened and her sight focused on Roy, who sat beside her. She slowly sat up, with the help of Roy, and looked around. What was this place? “Where are we?” Riza asked, her voice hoarse making it sound like she hadn’t used it in years.

“I don’t know, but I think we… died” Roy said and looked around the other members who now also started to wake up. Riza’s eyes widened. That definitely wasn’t the answer she had been looking for.

“But we’re alive. We’re right here” She exclaimed, clearly shaken by this whole ordeal.

"It kinda looks like the place Truth hung out” Roy mumbled, but it didn't go past Riza.  
  
“Truth?”

“The guy who took my vision-” Roy cut himself off, looking around, first then realizing that he had gotten his vision back. Riza seemed to realize it too.   
They turned towards the last squad members as they heard them starting to come back to themselves. 

“What going on?” Breda asked, looking around, confusion clear on his face.

Roy shrugged “No idea”. 

They slowly all got back on their feet and started looking around. Just then a figure popped up, right in front of Fuery, making him let out a high pitched scream. The rest turned to look at what or rather who had scared Fuery.

And there he stood, Truth himself. “Well hello, Mustang team” Truth’s voice was cold and emotionless.

Roy was the first to say something. “Truth? What is going on here?”

“Ah, mister alchemist! It seems that I have acted a little too harshly and I now realize my mistake-” Truth suddenly stopped his rant “Huh? One of you is missing?” It ended up coming out like more of a question than a statement.

Roy quickly looked around “I donøt think we are. You called us “The Mustang team” and there aren’t any other people on it” 

“Are you sure, mister alchemist?” Truth had a smirk plastered on his face. 

Truth flicked his finger and suddenly Hughes stood in front of them. To say that they were shocked, would be the understatement of the year. Hughes looked around and his eyes immediately fell on Roy.

“Roy? Is that you?” 

Roy could barely make out words to answer and only managed to mutter one word “Maes?” 

Hughes was quick to run over and grab Roy, pulling him into a tight embrace. Roy could feel the tears welling up in his eyes. Was this real? Or was he fake, like the ones in his nightmares?

Hughes took turns to walk around and hug everybody, before finally settling down beside Roy, who still stood in a bit of shock. Truth’s smirk only widened.

“As I was saying. I have made some harsh decisions and I’m now ready to change things for the better. 4 years ago the entire Mustang team was wiped out-” Truth was cut off by gasps

“Fou-four years?” Havoc stuttered

“That long?” Falman mumbled in absolute shock. 

The rest of them, just stood in shock as Truth continued to explain. “That is the reason why I’m sending you to a place where you can watch through some important things you have missed”

No one in the squad was capable to speak and therefore just stood in silents. “If you don’t have anything to ask, then I’ll just send you off, right now,” Truth said, preparing to flick his finger, but Roy had one last question.

“The Elrics” His voice was hurried and confusion still coated his every word “What happened to the Elrics?”

Truth smirked, making his snow-white teeth be seen “Watch and find out”. He then flicked his finger and they disappeared.


	3. Starting point - 1915, spring, Promised day

The first thing they saw when they opened their eyes, was a giant screen. As Roy looked around, he saw three couches and a small table standing in front of the couches. 

"Do you think we're supposed to sit and watch something on the screen?" Falman asked as he took in the room. The other just nodded. They all jumped three meters in the air when they heard Truth's voice ring through the room.

"When you all are ready, you press the button on the table and it will start a video of things you have missed through the last four years. If you have any questions, then say them out loud, press the button again and the screen will show or tell you the answer" Truth explained, you could hear the smirk in his voice.

Roy looked around at his squad members and nodded. They sat over at the couches and Riza leaned forward and was about to press the button, when Fuery spoke up. 

"What do you think happened in the last years?" 

The seven people looked around at each other. Havoc was the first to answer.

"Well, I would assume the Elric brother figured out a way to get their bodies back. Knowing them, they kept moving forward" He smiled weakly, it was true. The Elric brothers always found a way to move forward, even in the hardest of times.

"If that's so," Breda continued "Then they probably left the military. I would guess they went back to Resembool" Even Riza smiled at that, if anybody deserved a quiet life, then it would be the Elric brothers.

"Ready?" Riza asked, her hand again hovering above the button.

"Ready" The others confirmed in unison.

Riza pressed the button and sat back as the screen grew white. Text started to appear in the middle of the screen.

**1915, spring, Promised day**

"Guess we're starting with seeing what happened after we…" Havoc's voice trailed off and the others nodded.

**The screen showed the middle of central with a bunch of people standing around, what looked to be two people. As the camera came closer it was easier to see who the two figures were. Edward and Alphonse Elric sat on the ground. Al was human. Edward had his arm wrapped around his younger brother.**

The crew gasped. That was the first time they had ever seen Al. They didn't even know what they looked like when they were kids, so they had been guessing about what the younger brother looked like. 

"At least it's now confirmed that Al got his body back," Roy said, a small smile playing his lips.

**The screen changed, now showing the two brothers in two separate hospital beds. Edward's arm was shown, it was still made of metal. His other arm had bandages wrapped around it, from the elbow and down. A bandage was also wrapped around his head, showing that he had probably been hit in the head. Maybe a concussion.**

**The camera came over to Al. He was way too skinny and his hair was long. But he was alive none the less. A small smile had found its way to his lips. He didn't have any bandages, but lots of needles had been stuck in his arms and machines were standing around him.**

"Guess they weren't able to bring back Edward's limbs" Falman commented. 

"Yeah, but at least they look happy," Riza said "Look at Edward's face. For once he actually looks calm and happy. He's barely tense at all". It was true. Edward looked like he had a giant weight lifted from his back.

**The screen changed again. This time showing Fuhrer Grumman sitting in a chair, in between the two brothers beds. Alphonse's eyes were wide and filled with shock.**

**"We found them yesterday, when we were searching the city" Grumman explained quietly, his voice was filled with grief. The screen showed Edward. His eyes were closed and his head leaned back against the wall.**

**"I'm sorry that, that had to happen. I know that the crew and you two were close. The funerals will be held next week. Sunday".**

"So I'm guessing he is telling them about our deaths," Havoc said quietly, his voice nothing but a whisper. 

It wasn't a secret that they had been close. Even tho' they had argued at times, they trusted each other and they would follow each other blindly. It hadn't been a secret either that Edward and Roy, were probably closer than a subordinate and a commanding officer should have been. 

**"But that's not the only thing I wanted to say" Grumman continued, his voice growing sterner "I understand that you'll probably want to leave the military, but if you were to stay, then I think you have the right to get promoted".**

**Alphonse looked down, his fingers figgering, eyes filled with tears.**

**"You don't have to answer now, but consider it, okay?" Al nodded slowly. The screen showed Edward, who now sat at the end of his bed. He got out of it and walked towards the door.**

**"I'm gonna go get some air" His voice was sad. Al looked up at him, the tears finally starting to fall.**

**"Wait!" Surprisingly it hadn't been Al who yelled, but Grumman.**

**Grumman stood up and walked towards Edward. "I wanted you to have this" Grumman put his hands forward, showing a set of gloves. Edward recognized them immediately and his eyes widened. "Roy's gloves". Edward confirmed.**

Riza's and Roy's eyes widened. Why in the world would Grumman think to give Edward those gloves? The secret behind flame alchemy wasn't something there had to be leaked through the Amestris. If it ended in the wrong hands, then it could have severe consequences

"Wait, Roy? He used your first name?" Fuery had been the only one to pick up on the fact that Edward had used Mustang's first name. Not a lot of people used his first name, not even those in the crew. 

"Is there something we have missed, boss?" Havoc asked and smirked towards the now beet red colonel. 

"Shut up, that's an order" 

**Grumman decided to ignore the use of the colonel’s first name. "I don't know what to do with them and since you're probably the person Mustang would trust the most with them, I've decided to hand them over to you".**


	4. Finally home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of the birth years of the soldiers, I wasn't able to find so I just wrote some down.

**The screen showed Edward hesitantly taking the gloves. turning them over to look at them. It wasn’t often he had gotten to see the gloves up close. He looked up at the Fuhrer and gave a small smile, before turning and closing the door behind him.**

“I wonder what he did with the gloves…” Havoc said.

“He probably just kept in his home or something. I can’t see what he would use them for or why” Hawkeye quickly chipped in. 

“On a different note, do you think he took the promotion?” Fuery asked and looked around at the others.

Roy smiled and looked towards the screen and then over at Fuery. “Probably not, he got his brother back and that meant that he probably went home. Just like we thought before, I don’t think a promotion is gonna change that”.

**The screen then changed and text glided over it; 2 weeks later.**

**The next scene showed Edward from behind, standing in front of a couple of graves. The angle turned to show the names on the tombstones.**

**_Roy Mustang_ **

**_1885 - 1915_ **

**_The man who wanted to change the country, for the better._ **

**_Riza Hawkeye_ **

**_1989 - 1915_ **

**_The most loyal person you could ever meet._ **

**_Jean Havoc_ **

**_1887 - 1915_ **

**_The person who will always be there for the ones he loves._ **

**_Breda Heymans_ **

**_1887 - 1915_ **

**_The person who will stay by your side, even with things looks rough._ **

**_Kain Fuery_ **

**_1890 - 1915_ **

**_Too kind for his own good._ **

**_Vato Falman_ **

**_1870 - 1915_ **

**_Determined to help and fight when he has to._ **

“I had never thought that I would be able to see my own grave” Falman sighed. 

“I don’t think anybody wishes to see their own grave,” Hughes said. His grave was the only one there wasn’t shown on the screen, but he would probably also end up having to watch his grave.

**Alphonse was shown walking up behind Edward and then standing next to him. He was carrying himself on crutches, but he looked better.**

**“What are you planning to do now?” Alphonse asked, his voice calm. “We can’t stay in central forever”**

**“Huh?” Edward looked like he hadn’t heard a single word Al had said.**

**“Honestly brother, you need to start listening to me! I was thinking we would go back to Resembool for some time. I hate to admit it, but I need some time to rest”. Alphonse smiles subtly.**

**“I have decided to stay in the military”**

“What!?” The screams came in complete unison. 

“Why would he stay in the military? There is nothing left for him there?” Hawkeye sounded upset for once.

“Why would he stay. It couldn’t be because of the promotion, Ed never cared for stuff like that, so what could it be?” Hughes asked to himself. And he was correct, there was absolutely no reason for him to stay, so what could it be?

**“What!? Brother!” Alphonse looked over at his brother, in complete and utter shock “Why? There is nothing left for you here!”**

**“That’s where you’re wrong,” Edward said calmly.**

**“What? The promotion?” Alphonse asked, looking unbelievingly at Edward.**

**Edward glared at Al. “I wanna change the country”**

**Alphonse’s eyes widened “What? Edward are you alright?”**

**“That’s what they wanted. They wanted to change it for the better and that ended up getting them killed. If they can’t do it anymore, then I plan to continue their wish. I’m gonna stay with you in Resembool until I know you’re okay” Edward turned and looked directly at Al.**

**“Then I’m gonna take the promotion and then run for Fuhrer”.**

There was complete silence. Nobody dared to say anything. If they did, what were they supposed to say?

‘Congrats Edward, you found something you wanna work towards’

‘What in the world are you thinking?’

‘Oh Edward, why?’

“No, no, no. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be” Roy whispered and hid his face in his hands. 

Hawkeye just sat starring out in the blue. Hughes also hid his face in his hands. The rest of them were quiet. 

The video continued before them.

**1 week later.**

**A house was shown. It was placed in the middle of a field. A small road led to the house. Two boys walked up the road, towards the house.**

“That must be Al and Ed” Fuery whispered, still getting used to using his voice again. 

**As the two neared the house, then the sound of a dog’s bark was heard. The door was slammed open and a blonde woman stepped out. She looked directly at the two brothers. Then over at Alphonse.**

**“Alphonse…” Her voice trembled and her eyes flickered towards Edward, who just nodded subtly.**

**“Alphonse!”**

**Winry ran over and flung herself into the arms of Alphonse, laughing. She then turned to Edward and hugged him too. When she pulled away, the tears were flowing from her eyes.**

**“I guess you held your promise”. Winry said and smiled at Edward. “The next time you would make me cry was when you had gotten Al’s body back” Edward grinned slightly and looked over at Al.**

**“Oh, come here you two,” Winry said and pulled both of them into a tight hug, and for the first time, they all laughed together, finally in peace. Without the ringing sound of metal.**


	5. The talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter, but I wanted to start the next memory in the next chapter and not this one, so... Also thanks for the comments, kudos, and bookmarks.

The crew had decided to take a break and moved the couches around, so they could look at each other while talking. They hadn’t spoken much since the bomb dropped, but they had decided to talk about their newfound information.

“Do you think he reached the goal of becoming Fuhrer?” Falman asked and got comfortable.

“Chief is determined when he has set a goal, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he reached it. I just can’t see what he’ll do with it” Havoc said and looked over at Falman.

“I just…” Roy started “ Why would he not just leave. I know that the country should be changed, but things were gonna get a little better just with Grumman being Fuhrer”.

“Also…” Everybody looks over at Hughes, who turns in his seat to look directly at Roy “What’s going on in between you and Edward?”

Roy’s eyes widened and he looked like he wanna disappear into the couch. Hughes smirks and leans forward, so he would be able to catch Roy’s eyes.

“I...I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about” Roy broke the eye contact and looked up at the roof. 

The other’s smirked and looked over at Roy.

“Now that you say it, why is it that it always takes like 2 hours for Edward to give you a report?” Breda says and chuckles.

“Also, whenever he is in there, you lock the door. Why would you do that?” Riza said and smiled sweetly over at Roy, who looked betrayed.

“Hawkeye, what the hell?!” Roy exclaimed, “You’re supposed to be on my side!”

“So you’re admitting that you’re hiding something?” Fuery asks a smirk growing on his face.

“I feel very attacked” Roy mutters and slumps longer into the couch. “It’s nothing big, just… friends with benefits I guess. We never really decided what we were” Roy explains and looks at his hands. 

“But you have feelings towards him, don’t you?” Hughes asked and sat back again.

Roy slightly and then shakes his head “I have no idea”.

They sit in silence for some time and decides that it’s time to watch more of the times they have missed out on.


End file.
